


Nyctophilia

by Natalya



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Acceptance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Love, M/M, Night, Nightmares, Not angsty, Peace, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natalya/pseuds/Natalya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky can't sleep the night is his friend.  When Bucky can't sleep Steve joins him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nyctophilia

The darkness was soft, comforting as it surrounded him. There was a little light coming from the balcony door along with the cool breeze. The lights of the city below and spreading out before him provided the small amount of illumination there was. The rest of the room was in shadow, wrapping around him like a gentle cocoon. He could feel the play of the air over his skin where he sat there on the floor in front of the open balcony door, looking out at the night beyond. It was incredibly peaceful, and he could feel the tension leaving him as he sat there, feeling relaxed and at ease. 

Live for long enough in the shadows and they become a familiarity, a safety blanket of sorts. He was a ghost, a creature of the night, of the darkness, and it had come to be a friend, to be something for him to fall back on when he was feeling shaken, feeling off kilter. The shadows meant that he could go undetected without effort, drifting through towns, cities and countries. The night brought a freedom all of its own, and when he couldn’t sleep, when the nightmares woke him in a cold sweat, the night and the shadows were there to bring him some kind of peace. 

The harsh, unforgiving lights inside were the last thing that he wanted at times like that, unfeeling, unnatural lights that reminded him of waking up under spotlights in laboratories, that reminded him of unknown faces, of gleaming metal instruments, of pain and of the tang of electricity in his mouth as he lost his mind again and again. 

The soft click of the bedroom door opening would have gone unnoticed by most people but it was enough to make him look up, to take him out of his reverie. He saw the dark shape of Steve moving through into the lounge, the soft light from the window just showing him in soft greys, his hair mussed, yawning widely. “Buck?” His voice was rough from sleep. “Want me to turn the light on?” 

“No.” He knew even as he said it that it was too quick, too firm and he heard Steve’s footsteps come across, deliberate and slow before Steve came to sit beside him, frowning, a look of concern on his face. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” 

Bucky hitched one shoulder in a shrug with a wry smile that Steve knew well, knew what it meant. That he’d woken up from a nightmare, silent and still, barely breathing, skin bathed in cold sweat. It happened to them both. He preferred to go into the spare room that they’d turned into a studio, fill it with light and heat, start sketching, doing anything that would take his mind away from it. Bucky simply withdrew in silence to the shadows. 

“Y’don’t have to be here Stevie, I’m okay.” 

“What if I want to be here?” Steve asked softly, staring out across the city. “What if I want to be here because I’m worried about you. Because you’re sat alone in the dark and it’s gettin’ pretty cold in here…” 

“If you want to be here, then I’m not gonna send you away.” Bucky replied with a soft smile, shaking his head slightly. “And you don’t gotta worry about me Stevie, it’s just nightmares y’know? And I’m fine here, I… I like it in the dark like this. And c’mon, we both run so warm that this breeze isn’t going to bother me. I’ve spent months working out in places like Siberia… I’m fine.” 

Steve frowned, looking at him for a few moments in silence, studying his profile as Bucky kept looking out across the city. “You prefer it in the dark?” 

Bucky drew in a long, slow breath and let it out again, reaching out to take Steve’s hand, knowing that Steve wouldn’t touch him without permission, not after a nightmare, feeling Steve’s fingers curl round his in a soft pressure. “Yeah. Yeah I do. It’s safe. It’s familiar. Living and working in the shadows, it’s something that I’m used to. It’s peaceful, it feels...this is gonna sound crazy but it just feels safe y’know? The interior lights? They’re too harsh. Reminds me of being in the lab, being on the table again, reminds me of being wiped over and over… this… this is just nice. Means I can just… I can relax. I like the night…M’not like you Stevie. You’re the sun, the light, the opposite to me, I’m the moon to that and I know it sounds like I’m spoutin’ so much bullshit but it’s how I figure it in the scrambled mess my head can be.” 

“Doesn’t sound like bullshit to me.” Murmured Steve softly. “You gonna stay here?” 

“Not plannin’ on goin’ anywhere.” Replied Bucky with a slight shrug. “Why?” 

“Thought we could get a bit more comfortable.” 

And that was it. Steve just simply accepting him, accepting what he said, understanding without needing any more. Just the same as he always had. “Sure, sure that sounds good to me.” 

Steve nodded, patting Bucky’s shoulder as he stood up, going and getting a couple of blankets and a couple of cushions from the sofa before coming back, laying one blanket on the floor by the door, dropping the cushions down to act as pillows before holding out his hand to Bucky who took it without hesitation, going and lying down on the blanket, head resting on the pillow, shifting until he could get comfortable on his side, before shaking his head, tossing the cushions up to the other end of the blanket so that he could lie on his right side. 

“You okay Buck?” 

“Yeah. I’m good. You comin’ to join me then Stevie?” 

A soft laugh answered him and he glanced over his shoulder to see Steve dropping down with him, pulling the blanket over them both. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

“Sap.” 

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t change it.” 

“I know.” Bucky smiled as he looked back out of the window again, out across the city as Steve draped one arm round his waist, pulling him closer, pressing a soft line of kisses down the side of his neck, across the scarring and onto the metal of his shoulder. 

“I love you, you know that?” Steve’s voice was quiet and certain and Bucky felt warmth flow through him at the words, the same way that he always did. 

“I love you too, punk.” 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, curled up together, watching the night slowly give way to the gentle light of the new day.

The End

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